And a cold one, at that. It's been like this for the better part of the week, and it's really messing up my Saturday errands with the babe. I don't know that I want to take her out in this mess. I see it's stopped, so I may hop in the shower, feed her lunch when she wakes up and get out. Daddy's sick anyway, or at least not feeling well, and has also requested a rotisserie chicken, probably to make some soup, so I'll be making a trip out regardless. I think it's just because he's been working out in this weather - it was 80 degrees this week, and then rainy and in the 40-50's. I hope he's not sick sick. There was a sick person at work this week, one of the ones that got us all started around Thanksgiving, so I really hope that it's not contagious. But you know what happens, and what I've always said - it IS contagious when they say it's not. Oy. Oh, and you know little Ava has a runny, snotty nose, too. Ah the beginnings of daycare baby. So I'm a little stuffy too. I guess I just have to accept this as a part of life and move on. (even if I really do not want to...)
So I wanted to share something with you readers, whoever you are. Something was brought to my attention this past week and it really hit hard. In a constructive way, thank goodness. It was pointed out to me that I gave the impression of being controlling. Gasp! Me? Um, yes. believe it. It's true. As much as I hate to even admit it, I know that this is a huge fault of mine. I hate to say that I was raised in a house like this, but I was. I won't say which parent, but if they didn't like something, they would say something, and try to correct it to their liking. Be it the way one sits at the table, holds their silverware to cut meat, the way a buffet line at home should go, or how quickly one is to say, "excuse me," if they burp. But I am a product of my parent(s), and it's taken me this long to finally see that this has to end. The person that brought this to my attention is someone very close to me, someone I cherish and love as much as a sister. She told me in such a way as to not make me feel badly, but it really just brought it to light. It's one thing when your mother or husband tells you something, but when your friend does, we tend to take it differently. I was immediately knocked down a peg or two. Or three... or four... you get it. I mean, this is something that I've been thinking about because of the way things may be going at work, and me not liking something. I have no problem voicing an opinion if I don't think something is appropriate, but I'm not in charge. I'm not the boss. My wonderful husband has reminded me of that, and that I really need to step back and let others (in charge) handle it. If they don't, fine. But I can just not like it. I don't have to say something about it, I can just silently disagree with it. Not in a judgy-judgerton way, just to myself. I thanked her and apologized profusely. I love that she came to me about that, and how she opened my eyes. I spend a lot of time with her, we are comfortable with each other to say such, and move past it. She also mentioned something that I had been avoiding because of my embarrassment and shame. I don't need to fight anyone's battles for them. I don't have to say anything in their defense, or at all. They can handle it. Even if it's coming from a place that is the same as theirs, or from a place of concern, we're adults. We can handle our own. I am so glad that she mentioned this too, because like I said, I was so ashamed that I said something a while back. You know when you open your mouth and out comes something that you want to immediately bring back in? But you can't the damage has been done, and you think, "oh fudge..." Ya, that's what I did. Lesson learned, and we are moving past this. She forgave me and said we're moving on. That's love. And thank goodness for that!
Don't you just love learning lessons the hard way?
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