just to be clear...

On my last post, I had mentioned something about not breastfeeding or pumping anymore, that it wasn't convenient for me. I want to be clear, the pumping is not convenient, and I know moms will agree with me. Breastfeeding wasn't the issue, I enjoyed doing that. It bonded me and Ava, and it was our moment. So to not be able to do that anymore just was emotionally painful. However, I am extremely appreciative that I was able to do that. I have to follow up with that because someone close to me was not able to. I cannot imagine the pain that she went through not being able to nurse her baby. She's a pumping fool, so diligent and scheduled with her pumping - I'm amazed. At 5 months, she's still pumping every 4 hours! But she had to become like that. I know it wasn't easy on her to do that, either. What I meant by "inconvenient" was just that. As a working mom, remembering to go back to the storage closet two or more times a day, for either 10, 15 or 20 min (sometimes it was longer), missing the work I was trying to do, trying to only focus on my baby, not my work, getting distracted looking at her sweet face on my phone, and then cleaning myself up afterwards, returning to my desk & getting back to what I was doing... well that's not convenient - for me. I'm just being honest. I miss breastfeeding, but one day it just seemed to stop. I'm so thankful that Ava has taken to the formula without a hitch. I started her on the enfamil newborn blend and worked her into the "purple one" for fussiness & gas because my girl has the toots! I actually tried to breastfeed her the other night, and it was so weird, it felt unnatural. Imagine that! So I wanted to clear that up because it was on my mind, eating at me. I didn't want anyone reading this to think I was a bad mom, I love my daughter and wouldn't want anything less than the best for her. I just have to be honest - that's me! xoxo